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I've been thinking a lot over the last day and a half about why it is so devastating to be removed from someone's friends list. It may be that it reminds me of those times at school when I was the last to be picked for teams, or didn't get to go around with the in-crowd. But I think it's more than that. For some people, the friends list on BookCrossing may be just a convenient way to bookmark bookshelves they find interesting, but when I friend someone it is because I like what I know of that person and would like to get to know her/him better. It gives me a warm glow when someone friends me, because I think they feel that way about me. Now, twice, I have had someone take that away from me, and it hurts. The first, I finally removed from my friends list, and that hurt perhaps as much, because it felt like an acknowledgement of loss. The second - well, I'm holding on for a little while, I'm not quite ready to let go yet.
Here, it's different - more trust involved - and I can understand removing me from a friends list, though that hurt too.
Maybe my expectations are too high? But I don't ask more than I'm prepared to give.
I'm leaving this entry open, at least for now.

Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
bruised_heel
Feb. 22nd, 2005 08:26 am (UTC)
((((kairon13)))
You'll always be a friend of robert-walker and bruised_heel
kairon13
Feb. 23rd, 2005 01:21 am (UTC)
Re: ((((kairon13)))
Thanks, Rob. Good to know.
myopicmeringue
Feb. 23rd, 2005 09:31 am (UTC)
Oh - I don't know if you're on my bookcrossing friends list - but if you're not, it's not personal - I just don't update it very often, and rarely look at it. In fact, when I do try to look at it, it rarely works - it comes as a blank page (which is happening right now as I'm trying to look at it to see if you're on it or not). But you're on my LJ friends list of course, and you're there to stay.

Sorry you're feeling sad. (((hugs)))
kairon13
Feb. 23rd, 2005 09:38 am (UTC)
Thanks - and yes, I am on your BC friends page! I don't really worry so much about people not putting me on - I've got enough names on my 'friend of' list to feel reasonably liked - it's being removed that is the painful thing.
I really appreciate the hugs and reassurance!
(((((hugs back))))))
saladoor
Feb. 23rd, 2005 04:21 pm (UTC)
Darlin' your expectations are not too high
You just have an unconditional belief in people, which is lovely, but can often leave people hurt.
(((((((((( 10 Purple Hugs All For You ))))))))))
kairon13
Feb. 24th, 2005 03:33 am (UTC)
Re: Darlin' your expectations are not too high
Thanks for the hugs, sweetie.
Funny, I always thought of myself as a bit of a cynic - though they say cynics are just failed romantics.
martip
May. 21st, 2005 08:16 pm (UTC)
I disagree
>>they say cynics are just failed romantics.

You're not a failed romantic. You're a smashingly successful romantic, or clown, or thinker, or any of the multiple things you are. {{{{hugs}}}}}}
alives
May. 28th, 2005 03:33 pm (UTC)
(((((((((((((kairon13))))))))))
You will always be on my friends list.

I have had my name removed from a friends list and it does hurt a lot.

Love and huge hugs my lasting friend.

Vickie.
P.S. I stole your animal icon.**Hanging Head**
kairon13
May. 28th, 2005 03:41 pm (UTC)
((((((((((((((((((Vickie))))))))))))))))00
That's so sweet of you. It's very much appreciated.
You're staying on my friends list too.

And I don't blame you for stealing the kitty - he's *cute*!
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )